Meme, Episode One

It appears that I have been tagged, not once but twice, with a meme I could swear I’ve already done, not once but twice.  Since I am rapidly running out of odd/strange/interesting things to tell you about myself in list form, I’ve decided to bend the rules of the game by (a) adopting a more leisurely approach, and (b) declining to tag anyone else.    

And now, I will slowly tell you six random things about myself.  You might want to get comfy. 

1.  My very first crush, even before this one, was on Han Solo.  From the day I first saw Star Wars on, and through many subsequent viewings, I would find myself inexplicably attracted to men with dark hair, black jeans, and almost palpable misanthropic streaks.  (Sighs.)  On the off chance that anyone needs a refresher:

“Hey Han, is that a blaster pistol in your utility belt or are you just happy to see me?”

As with my other crush, the creator of Star Wars was determined to develop Solo’s character in such a way as to completely destroy his sexual allure.  Originally a roguish smuggler who hung out at dive bars and killed irksome creditors, George Lucas envisioned his reluctant protagonist as “a cynical loner who realizes the importance of being part of a group and helping for the common good…compromising and sacrificing his own welfare for those of others.”  While this redemptive narrative arc may be mythologically correct, it really isn’t very sexy at all.

Of course, Lucas has long since scoured any vestige of interest from the Star Wars franchise, which I have maintained a strict boycott against since the release of the unforgivable Episode One.  As a consequence, Solo remains a rogue in my mind’s eye, where he will be forever safe from the clutches of Lucasfilm, Inc.  Oh, and buck naked.