November 9, 2004 § 12 Comments

I’ve got it – male prostitutes! But of course!

Picture it: “Martha, darling, it’s Vila. I’m feeling like a blond tonight – is Jonathan available? No? Oh, but David’s on call? Mmm, no, too sporty… What about Paul? He’s really quite lovely – is he an aspiring filmmaker? Or Tom perhaps – he’s so deliciously boyish. But are you quite sure he isn’t gay? Oh, he’s bi – perfect! Are you still running your two-for-one special? Fabulous, darling, then I’ll take two… and throw in a pack of Du Maurier while you’re at it.”

So why is it that (heterosexual) male prostitution never took off? Restrictive social mores? Lack of disposable income? A dearth of imagination? I would think that in a truly egalitarian society, women would possess the inalienable right to buy sex just as men do. Wouldn’t they?

§ 12 Responses to Eureka!

  • Anonymous says:

    If I thought there was a market, I would certainly consider prostitution as a career option. Especially if there was a market for shortish, balding men.

  • Vila H. says:

    My dear reader, it’s all about the niche! So, how soon can you start?

  • Anonymous says:

    Eager as I am to embark on my new and exciting vocation, I feel I would benefit from spending a little time at the ‘Y’ for the next few months. How’s spring for you?

  • Anonymous says:


    Proving yet again that no man in Montreal has any interest in gratitutious sex.

  • Anonymous says:

    Oh, I’ll have gratuitous sex; I just wouldn’t feel good about taking a woman’s money with my less than ideal physique.

  • Vila H. says:

    Hmm, I suspect that the part of your physique she’s most concerned with doesn’t require toning… Nevertheless, since market research (and the previous commentator) indicates that consumer demand is highest during the winter months, I will agree to provide candidates willing to start immediately with a personal trainer. Do we have a deal?

  • Anonymous says:

    Let me get this straight. You’re willing to provide me with a personal trainer, have lots of fun, guilt-free sex, and then give me money?

    If we can smoke & watch Six Feet Under afterward, we definitely have a deal.

  • Vila H. says:

    On behalf of the women of Montreal, I thank you for your service. Your contract will be mailed to you shortly.

  • Anonymous says:

    cher vila–i’ve just remembered something. montreal is home to one of the most important experiments in history–the coed bathhouse. though of course the level of clientelle can’t be guaranteed, it’s probably a hell of a lot quicker than personal trainers. just a thought… ada

  • Anonymous says:

    no personal trainer needed, though bonus if you bring me beer like the bitch you are.

  • Vila H. says:

    Oooh, kinky!

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