Today’s Headlines

May 14, 2005 § 4 Comments

I got my hair cut today. While at the salon, I leafed through the May issue of Marie Claire and learned about the following things:

1. Vaginal rejuvenation surgery: A tighter fit for only $12,000. I’m told my man will love it.

2. G-Spot collagen injections, AKA G-Spot Amplification™: Apparently, it only hurts like hell for a minute.

3. “Dogging”: Group sex in parking lots, complete with automotive come-on code. And me without a driver’s license.

In other news, riots have broken out in Kabul and anti-US demonstrations are spreading across the region. According to Pakistani news sources, non-essential UN workers are being relocated from Jalalabad, presumably to the capital. With luck, Atomic will soon be evacuated and we will reunite on a terrasse.


§ 4 Responses to Today’s Headlines

  • xanthium says:

    Marie Claire is a great magazine–you forgot to mention that they were against all those things. Besides, they always have articles on international women (the interviews with dictator’s daughters were great, articles on victims of mass rape and violence, strange health problems, women’s beauty pagents in brazilian prisons) and usually have some offer, such woven African baskets, where the procedes go to helping women who made them. Give credit where its due!

  • Vila H. says:

    You’re quite right, xanthium — Marie Claire does not endorse these practices, and the magazine does feature coverage of women’s issues in a global context, which is entirely laudable.

    It is, nevertheless, slightly strange to encounter articles about female child slavery in Africa amidst the usual collection of make-up tips and fashion reports. It is even stranger to read them while one is surrounded by women dropping enormous amounts of cash on anti-frizz treatments and bikini waxes, neither of which strike me as revolutionary activities.

    Maybe it’s me?

  • Dianna says:

    I thought the dogger article was really subversive. Dude, if you want to read something revolutionary, subscribe to the workers vanguard. Besides, you have to keep your fingers on the pulse of the hegemonic dominant paradigm in order to rip it down. What other tools do you have than the masters? Word.

  • Vila H. says:

    D. — First of all, you’re conflating magazine articles with bikini waxes. Second of all, you should know me well enough by now to know that I’m not an ideologue. Third of all, how was the dogging piece subversive? The author checks out the action, clucks her tongue a few times, then prissily declares that she’s retreating to her monogamous relationship. That is her prerogative, of course, but it’s hardly subversive.

    To reiterate my earlier point, I think it’s weird to read articles about child slavery in Africa while getting your hair cut at a chi-chi salon. It conflates politics and entertainment and, in my view, does a disservice to both. What am I supposed to do — talk about the socio-cultural consequences of third world debt with the shampoo girl? No thanks.

    If it’s all the same to you, I’ll stick to reading the horoscopes and sex quizzes next time. Apparently, May is a hot month for Virgos…

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