Distractions, distractions

April 30, 2007 § 5 Comments

From screwtopian fantasy to the depths of the mundane: under a waxing moon, a distracted woman turns her attention to her taxes.  Regrettably, Rilke had nothing to say to his young poet about the subject, which is a crying shame.

The chore completed, I took a wildly decadent bath and tried to clear the fog of digits from my mind, to no avail.  Instead, I thought about the various things I could buy with my modest but unexpected refund.  I’m currently torn between physiotherapy and a really fancy bra.  Thoughts?

In other news, I’m pleased to announce that The Smoking Section has received its first pitch from a smoking fetish site, “dedier aux belle femmes du quebec qui fume, la cigarette [sic].”   Further investigation reveals that models are paid $10 per cigarette, which, at the rate I smoke, would handily fund the remainder of my PhD.

Even better, the site specializes in “forced smoking,” an erotic activity that involves subjecting healthy young men to the dangers of second-hand tobacco smoke.  If I thought I could actually pull off the leather pantsuit look, I’d sign up tomorrow.  Seriously…


§ 5 Responses to Distractions, distractions

  • (cough. cough). I’d go as far as letting a pretty girl deliver a “stinger”, but that’s it. On the spending spree — do they have physiotherapeutic bras? That would be a good purchase. I guess…

    Going now before the smoke clears…

  • husk says:

    Well obviously a female smoker has enhanced lip muscles (you know, sucking et al) but that whole deal doesn’t really turn me on — the guy’s surrounded by three girls but the only “blowing” that occurs is exhaled smoke (so it seems). But a cigarette during such activity can be really nice, it’s just like… “lay there, light one up and relax while bla bla”, the intentional egoism that really helps achieve heightened orgasms (for some). Anyway, let us know if you try it out ;)

  • itsallgrey says:

    You’re a riot.
    And bath bombs are a little piece of heaven. Even if they are $5 a pop.

  • Vila H. says:

    Sparky: Okay, you’ve got me–what’s a “stinger”?

    Heather: So you’re with me on the leather pantsuit? (Grins.) And yes, bath bombs are, in fact, the bomb.

    Husk: Well, speaking of fetishism… I wonder, is this an egalitarian kink or is it every man for himself? ;)

    As for my future career as a smoking sadist, the only clients I would deign to service are government officials. Monsieur Charest in particular would make a delightful ashtray, don’t you think?

  • heather says:

    A bathbomb-wielding woman in a leather pantsuit? It could work!

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