I am radioactive

May 14, 2007 § 10 Comments

Warning

Today, at approximately 7:45 AM, I was injected with 600 megabecquerels of technetium-99m for the purpose of having a bone scan.  As I understand it, trace amounts of the radionuclide will remain in my system for a period of several days, which makes me officially radioactive until further notice.

Needless to say, I think this is extremely cool.

As I waited for the technetium-99m to circulate through my body, I wondered what magical powers my newly-acquired radioactivity would confer upon me.  Superhuman strength?  X-ray vision?  Orgasms that glow in the dark?  Better yet, would I find myself suddenly possessed of the ability to write an entire dissertation in a single night, complete with footnotes and without need of coffee?

Sadly, as exhaustion slowly gives way to delirium, I am realizing that the answer to nearly all of these questions is “no.”  Mind, I’m still holding out hope for the orgasms.

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§ 10 Responses to I am radioactive

  • Andre says:

    Too bad we’re not having a Yulblog this week ‘cuz I would have brought in a Geiger counter from the lab.

  • JonasParker says:

    So we were both in the hospital today. Any results on the scan? I will be radioactive on Thursday.

  • The words “nuclear” and “medicine” never seemed all that compatable, but I guess it has its uses. Orgasms that glow in the dark would definitely be one of them…

  • Frank says:

    You realize that x-ray vision will offer more of this than what you actually have in mind. That said, I’d be willing to give it a whirl if it were offered to me.

  • zura says:

    I see a new breed of superheros/superheroines forming before our very eyes… all hail, the Mighty Orgasma-Glow!

  • April says:

    You got off lucky. I had to be put into an isolation area of the hospital for two days when I had my dose for Thyroid cancer. They brought the pill in a lead container. They wore protection…(i’m thinking…crap….I’m swallowing this stuff and YOU’RE wearing protection???)
    As soon as I swallowed it they took a Geiger reading. Instantly you are radioactive. Kinda freaky. My meals were left at the door of the room….i’d hear a knock at the door and no one was there…they’d drop off the food and run down the hallway. When I got home I had to stay 1 metre distance away from everyone. There’s something odd about taking the bus/subway after being radioactive.
    It’s weird to think you could be sitting on the bus next to someone who is radioactive…and you’d never know it. (Of course, if you know anything about the half-life of it…there isn’t really much worry) But still…someone could overdose on the stuff and run around hugging people. Okay, now i’m just sounding paranoid :o)

  • Vila H. says:

    Andre: Damn, I’d do anything to set off a Geiger counter! :)

    Jonas: If you happen to be at the Royal Vic on Thursday, let’s do lunch! Oh, wait, I’m supposed to fast for four hours before… um, never mind.

    Frank: Funny though it was, I really did not need to see that. :/

    Zura: Between you, me, and the lamppost, I’ve always wanted to scream “Wonder Twin Power–Activate!” during sex. Can that be our catchphrase?

    April: There is something about the idea of terrorist hugging that I find almost endearing. That being said, I very much hope you’re both radiation and cancer-free.

  • April says:

    Hey vila, sorry, i really went on a streak there.
    I was tired and hungry)
    I am cancer free for 6 years now.
    I’m not so sure if I missed reading why you’re having the bone scan or if you haven’t mentioned it…just know, that i too, hope you are okay.

  • Vila H. says:

    No worries–I’m just glad to know you’re okay. :) I’ll have more to say when my test results come in, hopefully next week…

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