I am radioactive
May 14, 2007 § 10 Comments
Today, at approximately 7:45 AM, I was injected with 600 megabecquerels of technetium-99m for the purpose of having a bone scan. As I understand it, trace amounts of the radionuclide will remain in my system for a period of several days, which makes me officially radioactive until further notice.
Needless to say, I think this is extremely cool.
As I waited for the technetium-99m to circulate through my body, I wondered what magical powers my newly-acquired radioactivity would confer upon me. Superhuman strength? X-ray vision? Orgasms that glow in the dark? Better yet, would I find myself suddenly possessed of the ability to write an entire dissertation in a single night, complete with footnotes and without need of coffee?
Sadly, as exhaustion slowly gives way to delirium, I am realizing that the answer to nearly all of these questions is “no.” Mind, I’m still holding out hope for the orgasms.