Today’s horoscope

May 31, 2007 § 8 Comments

Today, as always, I read my horoscope as I drank my morning cup of tea.  This is how it began:

Your relationship with time seems to be one of your biggest problems.

Well, if by problem you mean the brick wall that has collapsed on top of me and is slowly squeezing all the breath from my lungs, then yeah, I’ve got an eentsy little problem with time. 


You may not be entirely delighted with the direction your life seems to be taking, especially on the work front.

Work?  Is watching the cursor blink at the top left-hand corner of a blank page work?  If so, then clearly I deserve a raise. 

But wait, there’s more:

After enduring a lengthy period of what can only be considered creative stagnation…

I prefer to think of as a state of non-attachment, in which all creative desires are extinguished in order to permit the discovery of absolute freedom—and tabloid television.  Can you believe that shit about Lindsay Lohan?  That girl’s outta control!


You are about to move into a new and stimulating period of your life. It’ll be a chance to make up for lost time as events really get moving.

So long as “stimulating” doesn’t involve shingles scars, ophthalmological exams, or radioactivity, I’m in.  Anytime you’re ready…


§ 8 Responses to Today’s horoscope

  • andrea says:

    you can, if it helps, blame me – my horoscope’s instructed me to be a role model, and all i’m doing is staring at a cursed cursor as well.

  • GayProf says:

    Virgo, eh? Interesting…

  • husk says:

    I checked out mine (aquarius) and I had no clue what the fuck it was about.. ?

  • Vila H. says:

    Andrea: Aw, you’re a pal!

    GayProf: Pray, how so?

    Husk: Hmm, how about this one?

  • GayProf says:

    Every Virgo I have ever known as bit…shall we say, rather frisky. They almost never match their namesake. I am not sayin’, I am just sayin’.

    I tend to get along quite well with Virgos.

  • Vila H. says:

    (Laughs.) That is the best thing that anyone has called me in a very long time! It’s true, though: Virgos are on the whole a much friskier lot than we are generally given credit for. It is an earth sign, after all.

    I did take note of the fact that you are a Cancer, which (a) explains a lot about your relationship with Liar Ex, and (b) means that we absolutely ought to get drunk together someday. Incidentally, what sign was he?

  • GayProf says:

    Liar Ex (Who Told Many Lies) was the dreaded Taurus — self-centered, gluttonous, bastards (well, at least in his case).

    Yes! We should drink together, astrological connection or not.

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