This week in drugs
November 22, 2007 § 7 Comments
Yesterday, over 10,000 French fumeurs gathered on the streets of Paris to protest the country’s impending smoking ban. In the smoking lounge that has been reserved for him in the afterlife, Sartre is beaming with pride.
The Gazette reports that campus pubs across Canada are struggling to survive, the consequence of a student body that is “more studious, money-conscious, and health-wise.” The Gazette fails to report that a generation of obsequious dullards awaits.
Local papers are trumpeting a decrease in cannabis, alcohol, and cigarette use among Quebec’s youth, but grudgingly admit that the abuse of pharmaceutical drugs, speed, and cigars has spiked. Pfizer representatives and Fidel Castro were unavailable for comment.
The BBC confirms that beer sales have plummeted throughout the United Kingdom, sounding the death knell for the traditional British pub. Economic and generational shifts are blamed; conspicuously, the region’s smoking bans are not.
A warning label has been slapped on a DVD collection of early Sesame Street episodes, whose contents are “intended for grown-ups, and may not suit the needs of today’s preschool child.” The culprit? Alistair Cookie, who models “the wrong behavior” by eating a pipe. See above.